Where have You hidden,John of the Cross · Spiritual Canticle, Stanza 1
Beloved, and left me moaning?
You fled like the stag
after wounding me;
I went out calling You, but You were gone.
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?Psalm 13:1
How long will you hide your face from me?
Augustine knew this ache. But he discovered where the distance came from:
Late have I loved You,Augustine · Confessions, Book X
Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
late have I loved You!
You were within me,
but I was outside myself,
and there I searched for You.
What if God has not moved away,
but is drawing you deeper within?
The soul that is wounded by loveJohn of the Cross · Spiritual Canticle, Commentary on Stanza 1
cannot find healing except in the presence of the one who wounded it.
The very ache you feel is evidence of His presence.John of the Cross · paraphrase from Spiritual Canticle
You would not seek Him if you had not already found Him.
Thérèse of Lisieux knew this distance in her final months—and chose trust:
It is confidence and nothing but confidenceThérèse of Lisieux · Letter to Sister Marie, 1896
that must lead us to Love.
I will go before youIsaiah 45:2-3
and level the mountains....
I will give you hidden treasures,
riches stored in secret places.
The distance you feel is not abandonment.
It is God coming closer than the soul can yet perceive.
A Prayer for the Faraway God
Lord, where have You hidden?
I went out calling, but You were gone.
And yet—You were within me,
and I was outside myself,
searching in the wrong places.
If this ache is evidence of Your presence,
then let me not flee from it.
If I would not seek You had I not already found You,
then I have found You indeed.
Through the intercession of John,
who knew the wound of love,
Augustine, who sought You late but truly,
and Thérèse, who trusted without feeling—
come closer than I can yet perceive.
Amen.
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