When You Want to Return

Saints who drifted—and found the way back

We must not think of the soul as small and confined, but as a world in which there are many dwelling places... The door of entry to this castle is prayer.
Teresa of Ávila · The Interior Castle, First Mansions
Return to me, and I will return to you,
says the Lord of hosts.
Malachi 3:7
You called and cried out loud
and shattered my deafness.

You were radiant and resplendent,
you put to flight my blindness.
Augustine · Confessions, Book X

Benedict, who founded monasteries for those seeking to begin again, wrote urgently:

Let us get up then, at long last,
for the Scriptures rouse us when they say:
It is high time for us to arise from sleep.

Let us open our eyes to the light that comes from God,
and our ears to the voice from heaven
that every day calls out this charge:
If you hear his voice today, do not harden your hearts.
Benedict · The Rule, Prologue, 8-10

The desire to return is itself the beginning of return.
What brought you here today?

Peter didn't drift—he actively denied. The path back wasn't gradual; it was grace:

And he went out and wept bitterly.
Peter · Matthew 26:75

Teresa of Ávila offers what the return looks like—not performance, but friendship:

Mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.
Teresa of Ávila · The Book of Her Life, Chapter 8
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Teresa of Ávila · Bookmark poem
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
"Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
"Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."
"Feed my sheep."
Peter · John 21:17

You have not drifted too far.
The door is still open. It was never closed.

A Prayer for Those Returning

Lord, I have drifted.
I do not know how or when it happened,
but I find myself far from where I was.

And yet—the desire to return
is itself the beginning of return.
You called and cried out loud
and shattered my deafness.

Let me get up, at long last.
Let me open my eyes to the light.
Let me not harden my heart today.

Through the intercession of Teresa,
who showed the door is always prayer,
Augustine, who came late but came truly,
Peter, who wept bitterly and was restored swiftly,
and Benedict, who opened a school for beginners—
let me begin again.

Amen.

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Teresa of Ávila Augustine Peter Benedict